Monday, March 30, 2009

uuworld.org: A religion for hard times



uuworld.org: liberal religion and life


Faith is what’s left when you stop responding to radical uncertainty with panic and denial.

By Doug Muder
3.30.09


Is Unitarian Universalism a religion for hard times?

We’re in the process of finding out. Hard times, to paraphrase Thomas Paine, try our souls. They also try our congregations, our theologies, and our faith. Is Unitarian Universalism up to the challenge?

In easy times, almost any religion will do. Easy times tempt us to believe we have life under control. When we need to make choices, the conventional wisdom seems more than adequate. If we supplement it with our own research or cleverness or insight, it’s because we’re trying to get ahead, not save our necks. Even life’s unpredictable possibilities seem manageable: We can list them, assign probabilities to them, and perhaps even take out insurance—without the slightest worry that the insurance company might fail.

An easy-time religion can even be generous and helpful in an easy-going way. We can stand up for the poor without worrying that we might join them. We can comfort the dying without facing our own deaths.

Hard times force us to remember what uncertainty really is. Life is not like roulette—its possibilities spaced evenly around a wheel, our chips stacked neatly in front of us, our bets depending only on our choices and calculations. Sometimes life is more like being lost in the woods at night, wondering not just whether this is the right trail, but whether it is actually a trail at all.

All around us now, people are facing situations they never imagined. They’re losing jobs they expected to retire from, losing homes they thought their grandchildren would visit someday. Nest eggs that once seemed to guarantee a comfortable old age—invested in apparently safe and steady companies like AIG or Citicorp or General Motors—have shattered like Humpty Dumpty. Promises made with love and confidence—“you just get the grades and let me worry about paying for college”—can’t be kept.

Helping such people deal with their new situations is an enormous practical problem for our congregations, many of which are facing their own pressures from lowered contributions and shrinking endowments. But while we must never turn away from nitty-gritty concerns, I think it’s important that we not get lost in them and miss the bigger picture. Facing the uncertainty of life is fundamentally a religious problem, not just a practical problem. Hard times don’t just call for help, they call for faith.





The wake-up call I received from the financial crisis—my personal reminder that I don’t have life tied up in a neat bow—was comparatively mild. Shortly after the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy last fall, my money market fund notified its shareholders that it would be returning our money—most of it—on its schedule, not ours. Six months later, the fund’s liquidation is still incomplete.

In a theoretical sense I had known this possibility, but it was the last thing I expected. I had thought of that account like a stack of twenties under my mattress. It was my security blanket, my what-if money. But I wasn’t prepared for this what-if: What if one of the oldest and most respected money-market funds in the business goes under?

That splash of cold water made all the other bad news real to me: triple-A companies bankrupt, trillions of dollars lost, millions of jobs gone. Each day seemed to bring a headline more awful and unimaginable than the last. I have no idea what can and can’t happen, I realized. I thought I did, but I don’t.

I pride myself on being a reasonable person, but that kind of uncertainty is not a job for reason alone. Reason helps you manage your knowledge and figure out how to apply it. But once you’ve had the thought that totally unexpected things can happen on a totally unexpected scale, you need more than Mr. Spock and his logic. You need faith.


Faith is a difficult word for many Unitarian Universalists. Like God or soul or love, it repels definition. In The Devil’s Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce defined faith as “belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.” Sam Harris also adopted the “belief without evidence” definition in The End of Faith. No wonder he wanted to declare an end to it.

But the kind of faith I’m talking about is not an attachment to some supernatural order of facts. It is a way of living in the present, closer to a mindset or an attitude than a belief. Like any experience—like sweet or red or comfortable—faith can’t be grasped through a definition. All you can do is describe situations where the experience might be had, and hope that those who have had it will recognize it. I can’t even do that directly. The best I can manage is to start with a situation—radical uncertainty—and peel away the more common reactions—panic and denial. Faith is what’s left.

Panic is the most obvious reaction to that feeling of being lost in the woods. That’s actually where the word comes from: the Greek panikon, meaning “pertaining to Pan.” Pan was the god of wild places, the unmapped, uncharted regions where strange creatures might lurk and none of the familiar rules or patterns necessarily applied. It may seem odd to think of Pan roaming the floors of stock exchanges or the virtual worlds of credit default swap markets, but in a sense he does. We used to describe all financial crises as panics, until our leaders decided that depression sounded less alarming.

The simplest way to avoid panic is denial: Tell yourself nothing is wrong. You aren’t off the map, or you’ll be back on it any second now. Stuff like this happens to you all the time. Not a problem. All part of the plan.

Just about every religion tells you not to panic, but religion and denial have an ambiguous relationship. What some people call faith—the kind of faith rightfully rejected by Bierce and Harris—is a way to prop up denial, not transcend it. We put aside uncertainty by claiming God’s certainty as our own. God’s plan is not a mystery to which we must adjust ourselves, it is our plan copied over in God’s handwriting. And so the Almighty becomes an agent carrying out our will rather than the other way around. Of course God will cure our loved ones’ diseases, save our factories, restore the value of our 401(k)s, or stave off disaster in some other miraculous way. How could S/He not?

Many of the people most hostile to religion today are the disappointed veterans of such denial-enhancing theologies. “I hate it when people say prayer works,” says one of the anonymous postcards of the Post Secret Project (which I described in an earlier column), “because it didn’t when I was begging God to save my baby’s life.”

Humanism and secularism can prop up denial too, when their beliefs become too sweeping, too certain, or too optimistic. Excessive confidence in progress, evolution, or the human spirit can close our eyes to real uncertainty. The arc of the universe may indeed bend towards justice, but that doesn’t guarantee that any particular justice-seeking effort will succeed, no matter how ardently and sincerely we pursue it. And letting ourselves imagine that science’s map is complete—that questions with no answers need never be asked at all—is yet another way of denying Pan his due.

Faith is something else, a third experience of moving through Pan’s domain. A way seems to open up and you take it. You have no guarantees of where it will lead you, only the confidence that you are doing what you can do, and that you will be able to accept the consequences, whatever they turn out to be.

No religion holds the patent on faith. Christianity describes it as “trusting God.” In Buddhism it’s “action without attachment to outcome.” Twelve-steppers are pointing to that emerging path through Pan’s woods when they say: “One day at a time.” The lives of many Humanists, some of whom never use the word faith, are inspiring testimonies to their faith in truth and conscience.

Our actions may succeed, they may fail, or they may be completely irrelevant when the hurricane comes. If you know that and act anyway, confidently and yet with total awareness that anything at all can happen—that’s what I’m calling faith. That—not denial—is what people need from a religion in hard times.

Does Unitarian Universalism provide, support, or engender that kind of faith?

It can, but it doesn’t always. We’re good at popping bubbles of denial. But if that’s all we do, we’ll just send people back to panic.

Our congregations are full of faithful people, people who have survived not just financial setbacks, but also illness, betrayal, the death of loved ones, the failure of plans long crafted, and every other kind of hardship life can muster. Many have come through with their eyes open and their heads high.

Now is the time for such people to testify—time for all of us to testify about our experiences of faith, however large or small they might be. Not to spread false confidence, not to reassure each other that everything will work out the way we want, but to tell our stories of what has kept us going and what keeps us going today—even though we can’t be sure where this path through the woods will lead.




Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Psychology Today: Q and A: Irreverence Material

Psychology Today: Here To Help
Five questions for comedian John Hodgman.

By: Matthew Hutson



John Hodgman has an answer for everything. What it may lack in veracity, or even sense, it makes up for in staid charm and eccentric pseudointellectualism. You know him as a PC in Apple's hit ad campaign; here the author of The Areas of My Expertise and More Information Than You Require discusses satire, truthiness, and Hobbits.

What is the value of fake facts?

In both of my books, I have struggled against plain absurdity. Pure non sequiturs have a certain flighty charm to them, but I like some factness with my fakery. Ideally, fake facts help to jostle our imaginations. They remind us how much of actual history is so strange, and novelistic, and practically unbelievable.

How similar are you to your persona?

I bear an uncanny resemblance to myself. Obviously, I am named John Hodgman, and the details revealed about my life in my books always have one foot in the truth. Or at least a peg leg.

Where does your children's expertise trump yours?


They know a lot more about my neighbors than I do, for the common playdate allows the child access to other people's apartments and private lives that no adult will ever enjoy. In fact, it seems to me that children would make very good private investigators.

In which domains do you know more information than you require?

For a brief time in the early 2000s, being able to quickly name the three races of Hobbits was a handy skill that made you popular at parties. That is all over now, so I could probably free up some brain space there. But the truth is, I can never get enough information about invented, whole worlds. Including the whole world.

Your delivery is famously dry. Do you ever crack yourself up?

I find it to be comedically unethical to laugh at your own jokes on stage. But I probably feel so strongly because it happens pretty frequently lately, and I am ashamed. My deadpan needs re-deadening (see my new book, on the various historical styles of deadpan). But the reverse is true when writing. If my brain can fool myself into a surprised chuckle, my guess is that it can also fool you.


McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Emotional State 3A.


Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

EMOTIONAL STATE 3A.
BY STEPHEN DAU


- - - -

It has recently been brought to our attention that some of you are stuck in emotional state 3A, Consumed by Fear. Though we have made a number of announcements recently about the need for an emotional-state change, and had hoped that this would be a relatively smooth and uniform process, we understand that 3A is a particularly robust state and that many of you may need further guidance on how to proceed.

You might remember that 3A was invoked, as a purely temporary response, after the Event of Great Magnitude. At the time, it was thought that 3A would be in effect for no longer than a short period, and that it would be at most a medium-term measure. We never intended for 3A to be a long-term solution. That said, it has become obvious that some of you have been unable to extricate yourselves from state 3A, despite our continued suggestions that you do so, and, thus, are attempting to function in an emotional state that does not efficiently deal with our current reality.

It has been found that an incremental approach may prove fruitful. Perhaps it would be helpful at this time for us to make some specific suggestions of alternative states you may want to explore, as a way of gradually distancing yourself from 3A. Our studies indicate that good first steps might be 5E, Generally Fearful; 10B, Apprehensive; or 11C, Jittery. (Check your manuals for appropriate definitions.) Again, these would only be stopgap measures, methods for moving slowly away from 3A and toward one of the currently recommended emotional states, such as 75D, Cautiously Guarded; 78A, Vaguely Alert; or even 105M, Mildly Optimistic.

Some of you may be tempted to try to go cold turkey, as it were, and plunge directly from emotional state 3A into one of the recommended states in the 70s or 80s. Though such efforts are not unheard of, we would emphasize that nearly all the known successful attempts have been conducted in laboratory settings, and that the procedure is rarely successful in real-world situations. That said, if you remain determined, we have made available a number of pamphlets outlining the generally accepted research in this area.

Please be aware that we are by no means recommending that you try to go anywhere near emotional state 800A, Calmly Focused; 805B, Gently Aware; or any of their associated states. As you probably know, these are advanced states that require a great deal of practice, and, depending on your region, there may be licensing requirements. These states should only be attempted by trained professionals operating in controlled conditions.

This brings us to the subject of unauthorized emotional states. As you may know, we have received multiple reports of unauthorized emotional states, many of them emanating from Sector 2 (not that we are pointing any fingers!), and we find ourselves Troubled (53B). Therefore, this may be a good opportunity to review some of the basic tenets of the Emotional State Paradigm, as agreed to at the 11th General Council, many of which relate directly to the aforementioned occurrences.

Emotional state 485G, Wild Abandon, is officially reserved for weddings and public holidays, with significant leeway given for personal triumphs. The same goes for 430A, Effusive Joy; 430B, Elation; and 437C, Overwhelming Glee. (Again, see your manuals for definitions.) Although the decision to officially sanction these emotional states was regarded by some at the time as controversial, it was seen as a necessary precaution in the wake of the High-Level Hoax (remember how that turned out?) and, though carefully regulated, these states are now standard.

Given the large number of reports of recent instances of officially controlled emotional states, we would like to recommend some viable options for those of you wishing to express a more vibrant point of view. For those of you tempted to exhibit 485G, Wild Abandon, may we suggest 375B, Moderate Giddiness? This would provide the necessary irreverence of 485G but without the inherent danger. Another viable alternative might be 493E, General Excitability, which provides a similar adrenal rush but in more controllable doses. We have also seen success with 487C, Wholehearted Enthusiasm. Whatever method of substitution you choose to pursue, the main thing to keep in mind is that moderation is the key.

We are living in tumultuous times, which have obviously proved challenging, both for those of you striving to return from previously used emotional states that are no longer desirable and for those tempted into unauthorized states as a result of the recent, broadly perceived changes. Our goal is to be encouraging, not prescriptive, and punitive only in the face of the most egregious violations. We draw your attention to the large number of publicly available resources existent to help you through this period, and, as always, we remain humbly at your service.

- - - -


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

McSweeney's Internet Tendency:Selected Personals From the American Psychiatric Association's Dating Website.


Timothy McSweeney's Header Image





BY FRANK FERRI

- - - -




"Home, sweet home"


Agoraphobe seeks agoraphobe for long-distance relationship.

"Touchy, but in a good way"


Obsessive-compulsive with need to tap exactly four times any lampshade he passes seeks woman with similar interests for frequent checks of stoves and doors. If you're the one, let's get together for a romantic walk without stepping on any cracks.

"Waiting, with heart wide open"


Claustrophobic female seeks male (age not an issue) with empty 50,000-square-foot warehouse with high ceilings.

"Needed: perfect foil for my fiery personality"


Pyromaniac seeks pyrophobe for possible sitcom.

"What, me worry? You betcha!"


Woman with generalized anxiety disorder looking for someone to share evenings catastrophizing about possible reasons why my mother hasn't returned my voicemail, which I left almost an hour ago. If your mind goes straight to car accident, fell down a well, or mistook her car for a time machine, traveled to the late 1600s, and became a victim of the Salem witch trials, then you and I need to talk. Talk ourselves into a panic, that is!

"Fuck you"

Good-looking guy with Tourette's looking for—fucking asshole bitch motherfucker—soul mate with passion for fine wine—douchebag shit fuck—and antiquing.

"Don't sweat the small stuff—keep it!"


Recently divorced compulsive hoarder seeks male with a lot of love—and even more stuff. Must be willing to move in with me immediately. Interests include shopping for unnecessary items, refusing to throw away outdated newspapers, and keeping receipts from the 1950s.

"Don't mock me"

Love to laugh? Then you're not my type. Female katagelophobe seeks female geliophobe for serious, no-nonsense relationship.

"The more the merrier"

Male frotteur in search of tightly packed crowd of women.

"Come on, Daddy needs a new friend!"

Easygoing compulsive gambler in search of male or female for friendship. Must be financially independent and have an excellent line of credit. Desire to travel a must—specifically, to places like Macau, Las Vegas, A.C., and Vicksburg, Mississippi. Roll the dice and find a true friend. Age doesn't matter, but if you're 21, that could be good luck.

"What is this for again?"

Female with adult attention-deficit disorder seeks male for—look at that bird! What is that? An egret? I love their long necks.

"I'm not worthy"

Guy with self-defeating personality disorder thinks he's funny but isn't. Seeking alcohol-free/drug-free female. Must be willing to treat me poorly, undermine any happiness I may experience, and stop me if I'm about to accomplish something I could potentially be proud of.

"Drink me in"


Alcoholic male has thirst for female enabler for long-term co-dependent relationship.

"Nothing to hide"


Disinhibited 48-year-old, 142-pound woman with hemorrhoids, herpes, a penchant for one-night stands with random men, and a history of cheating on her taxes seeks equally overly self-disclosing male to co-host dinner parties with. Together we can make our guests excruciatingly uncomfortable with our unfiltered conversation. Last two hubbies died. Mysteriously.

"Night and day, day and night"


Nyctophobe seeks photophobe for fun battles over the light switch.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"


Dominant woman seeking Stockholm-syndrome-prone male. Contact me and I'll capture your heart.

"We're connected"

Person with dissociative identity disorder seeks you, you, and you. Or is it me, me, and me? Doesn't matter. We're meant for each other. Call me. I just did. Great, let's set up a date. Sounds good. Must be Jewish. I am. Great, this is going well.

"Oh, you're going to wear that?
No, no, that looks nice. Really, it does"


Passive-aggressive woman seeks marriage-ready male. I enjoy purposely taking too long to get ready and making us late for reservations. I'm great at "forgetting" to do important tasks, such as mailing in mortgage payments, thus damaging our credit scores just because I won't come out and tell you that I don't like the long hours you work.

"You're not the one for me"


Lonely lady with avoidant personality disorder seeks no one to interact with, share love with, or grow old with.

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EMax Health: Identification, Characterization Of Sensitive Periods For Neurodevelopment Of Mental Illness

Submitted by ruzik_tuzik on Mar 10th, 2009


Identification and characterization of sensitive periods for neurodevelopment of mental illnesses is a new initiative, that will stimulate neurodevelopmental research in humans and animals that will increase our understanding of the neurobiology underlying developmentally sensitive periods for risk, resilience, and intervention.

Rationale and Description


The goal of this initiative is to accelerate and stimulate research on sensitive periods (i.e., periods during which the developing brain is maximally sensitive to environmental influences that confer risk or resilience) for the neurodevelopment of mental illness. While brain development may start from a genetic blueprint, it is the overlay of experience that shapes development and leads to either normal function or pyschopathology.

We have limited knowledge of either the timing and specificity of sensitive periods in humans or the neurobiological trajectories in mental disorders. By increasing research focused on sensitive periods in behaviors related to mental health, the field will make exponential progress in the treatment of mental illness. Furthermore, with more fundamental information on sensitive periods in humans, we can develop more specific and focused hypotheses about mechanisms to be tested in preclinical animal models. Therefore, the potential advances gained from this initiative are essential for the ultimate understanding, prevention, and cure of mental disorders.

Read more here ...



Time: Redefining Crazy: Researchers Revise the DSM


Wednesday, Mar. 11, 2009
By John Cloud


If you wanted to make a list of important books you should read, what would you choose? Anna Karenina, maybe? The Bible? How about the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders?

It may not be at the top of your list, but the DSM, as it's usually called, is one of the most important books in the world. It attempts to categorize, describe and give a code number to literally every problem that can occur in your mind, from schizophrenia to borderline personality disorder to something called mathematics disorder, which is essentially being so bad at math that it amounts to a mental problem.

The DSM is important not only because it is wildly ambitious but also because mental-health professionals around the world have adopted its classification system. In the U.S., it is virtually impossible to get reimbursed by an insurance company for treatment unless a mental-health professional identifies your condition by a DSM diagnosis number. (The DSM code number for mathematics disorder, if you were wondering, is 315.1. The code for Tourette syndrome is 307.23; the code for sexual sadism is 302.84. As I said, the DSM tries to cover everything.) (See the top 10 medical breakthroughs of 2008.)

The American Psychiatric Association (APA), which owns the DSM, is in the process of rewriting the book, which was first published in 1952. The DSM-V, as the fifth edition will be called, is set to be published in 2012. But the process of researching it began way back in 1999 — five years after the publication of the last major revision, the DSM-IV — meaning the new book's production will take 13 years overall. (Read "How We Get Labeled By the DSM.")

Why so long? Last week, a research organization called the American Psychopathological Association (which goes by the acronym APPA, to distinguish it from the APA) brought many of the key players in the development of the DSM-V to a New York City conference to discuss some of the reasons the writing of the book is so complicated.

One obvious reason is that so many people have a stake in what the world defines as crazy and what it calls normal. Famously, homosexuality was listed as a DSM condition until a 1974 vote among APA members to remove it. Other groups of mental-health professionals and patients want certain disorders to be added (and covered by insurance): sexual compulsivity, for instance, is not in the DSM, even though "sexual aversion disorder" (302.79) — the persistent and distressing avoidance of genital contact not explained by another disorder such as depression — is included. (Read an interview with an author who has bipolar disorder.)

Debates about what should and shouldn't be in the DSM are fascinating and often bitter, and as I have pointed out before, the book makes at least one fundamental error in the way it conceives of mental problems: it ignores causes almost entirely. If you feel sad and tired for a couple of months, have trouble sleeping and making decisions, and gain weight, you can be given a DSM diagnosis of depression (296.31 or 296.32, mild or moderate, recurrent) and prescribed drugs for it — even if the reason for your funk is that you just lost your job. Such physiological responses as insomnia are evolutionarily natural (and sometimes helpful, in a jump-starting sort of way) when you go through a trauma like losing your job. But according to the DSM, only perfect is considered normal. Another basic problem with the DSM: it tries to reduce the vastly complex experiences of your mind to a single number.

At last week's conference, there were tantalizing hints that the DSM-V might fix some of these problems. Dr. Steven Hyman, provost of Harvard, a former psychiatry professor at its medical school and former director of the National Institute of Mental Health, agitated at the meeting for a new DSM framework that would stop trying to divide mental problems into discrete all-or-nothing categories. That method works for some medical problems — you either have leukemia or you don't — but depression, for instance, doesn't work like that. (Read "Why Do the Mentally Ill Die Younger?")

Rather, Hyman argued that many mental illnesses are problems that lie along a continuum from normal and functioning to disordered and tragic. To the annoyance of some old-fashioned DSM defenders, he made the case that the DSM should regard mental illness as "continuous with normal": less like leukemia and more like hypertension. You don't get diagnosed with hypertension until you meet a cut-off point for high blood pressure that takes into account other extenuating factors: your age, for instance, or the conditions under which the blood-pressure reading is taken. Depression should be the same: if you are sad because you just got divorced, the DSM shouldn't necessarily consider you to have an illness.

Such a diagnostic model wouldn't be simple, though, which is one reason the DSM is taking 13 years to rewrite. And in the meantime, the book still has to be useful to everyday clinicians seeing patients who need a code number for insurance companies. "It's like wondering how you repair the airport while the planes are still flying," Hyman said at the conference.

Hyman noted that medical problems, whether in the mind or in the body or both, are usually caused by some combination of genes, environment, behavior and chance. Despite the comforting modern notion that severe psychological illnesses are simply due to an unfortunate genetic inheritance, it is the exceedingly rare mental condition caused only by genes (Rett syndrome is one example.) Rather, if you take something like generalized anxiety disorder (300.02), there may be a variety of causes that set it off: genes that cause excessive activity in the fear-producing part of the brain called the amygdala; a stressful job that stimulates that activity; engaging in a dumb behavior like having an affair that exacerbates your anxiety; then randomly getting into an anxiety-heightening situation like a car accident. The DSM has to try to account for all of that complexity — causes, effects, unintended consequences — and still be definitive.

Hyman said in an interview that one way the DSM currently handles this complexity is to have what he called a "wastebasket" diagnosis called "not otherwise specified" (NOS), which captures just about anything that doesn't easily fit the categorical model. One major problem with the NOS diagnosis: pretty much anyone can qualify for a diagnosis that, by definition, is not specified. A 2005 American Journal of Psychiatry paper found that nearly half of a group of 859 people who sought psychological help in Rhode Island could be considered to have a DSM personality disorder if diagnosticians were allowed to include the "not otherwise specified" option. Another problem: how do you adequately treat patients whose illness is unspecified?

A continuum model like the one Hyman proposes could help solve this problem by recognizing that people aren't always one thing or another. They're sometimes just a little depressed, or a little anxious. To avoid medicalizing normal stress, the DSM-V would set a cut-off point within the spectrum. Of course, determining the right cut-off point for the DSM's 350 illnesses would take an enormous research effort, one that has begun for some disorders like depression but likely hasn't even been thought about for rare problems like sexual sadism.

Other attendees at the APPA conference indicated that the new DSM will almost certainly adopt a continuum model for mental illnesses. But don't be surprised if the book doesn't come out as scheduled in 2012. If the three-day conference came to any solid conclusion, it was that totting up all the ways our minds can fail is a lot harder than, say, explaining why your appendix might burst.


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Speaking of Faith: The Soul In Depression: Poetry for Reflection, Help and Healing

Speaking of Faith: The Soul In Depression

Poems by Rainer Maria Rilke


Ich liebe meines Wesens Dunkelstunden

I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There I can find, as in old letters,
the days of my life, already lived,
and held like a legend, and understood.

Then the knowing comes: I can open
to another life that's wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree
rustling over a gravesite
and making real the dream
of the one its living roots
embrace:

a dream once lost
among sorrows and songs.


Dich wundert nicht des Sturmes Wucht


You are not surprised at the force of the storm—
you have seen it growing.
The trees flee. Their flight
sets the boulevards streaming. And you know:
he whom they flee is the one
you move toward. All your senses
sing him, as you stand at the window.

The weeks stood still in summer.
The trees' blood rose. Now you feel
it wants to sink back
into the source of everything. You thought
you could trust that power
when you plucked the fruit;
now it becomes a riddle again,
and you again a stranger.

Summer was like your house: you knew
where each thing stood.
Now you must go out into your heart
as onto a vast plain. Now
the immense loneliness begins.

The days go numb, the wind
sucks the world from your senses like withered
     leaves.

Through the empty branches the sky remains.
It is what you have.
Be earth now, and evensong.
Be the ground lying under that sky.
Be modest now, like a thing
ripened until it is real,
so that he who began it all
can feel you when he reaches for you.

Poems by Anita Barrows


Questo muro


Quando mi vide star pur fermo e duro
turbato un poco disse: "Or vedi figlio:
tra Beatrice e te è questo muro."

(When he [Virgil] saw me standing there unmoving,
he was a bit disturbed and said, "Now look, son,
between Beatrice and you there is this wall.")
       -Dante, Purgatorio XXVII


You will come at a turning of the trail
to a wall of flame

After the hard climb & the exhausted dreaming

you will come to a place where he
with whom you have walked this far
will stop, will stand

beside you on the treacherous steep path
& stare as you shiver at the moving wall, the flame

that blocks your vision of what
comes after. And that one
who you thought would accompany you always,

who held your face
tenderly a little while in his hands—
who pressed the palms of his hands into drenched grass
& washed from your cheeks the soot, the tear-tracks—

he is telling you now
that all that stands between you
& everything you have known since the beginning

is this: this wall. Between yourself
& the beloved, between yourself & your joy,
the riverbank swaying with wildflowers, the shaft

of sunlight on the rock, the song.
Will you pass through it now, will you let it consume

whatever solidness this is
you call your life, & send
you out, a tremor of heat,

a radiance, a changed
flickering thing?


Heart Work


Monday. Bronze sunlight
on the worn gray rug
in the dining room where Viva sits
playing her recorder. Pain-ripened sunlight

I nearly wrote, like the huge
vine-ripened tomato
my friend brought yesterday
from her garden, to add to our salad:
meaning what comes

in its time to its own
end, then breaks
off easily, needing no more
from summer.

The notes
of some medieval dance
spill gracefully from the stream
of Viva's breath. Something
that had been stopped

is beginning to move: a leaf
driven against rock
by a current
frees itself, finds its way again
through moving water. The angle of light

is low, but still it fills
this space we're in. What interrupts me

is sometimes an abundance. My sorrow too,
which grew large through summer
feels to me this morning

as though if I touched it
where the thick dark stem

is joined to the root, it would release itself
whole, it would be something I could use.


"Back" by Jane Kenyon

We try a new drug, a new combination
of drugs, and suddenly
I fall into my life again

like a vole picked up by a storm
then dropped three valleys
and two mountains away from home.

I can find my way back. I know
I will recognize the store
where I used to buy milk and gas.

I remember the house and barn,
the rake, the blue cups and plates,
the Russian novels I loved so much,

and the black silk nightgown
that he once thrust
into the toe of my Christmas stocking.


Speaking of Faith: The Soul In Depression

The Soul in Depression
February 26, 2009

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One in ten Americans, and even more dramatically, about one in four women, will experience clinical depression at some point in their lives. We take an intimate look at the spiritual dimensions of this illness and its aftermath.

Program Details


* » Particulars an annotated guide to the radio program with readings, images, and links
* » Resources
* » Books + Music
* » Krista's Journal
* » Transcript
* » Credits


» Depression and Me

The vulnerability of revisiting this conversation reminds Krista to embrace "dark times as expressions of human vitality."

» Confessions of a Yoga Convert
For our yoga show, Krista reflects on the impact of her own practice in dealing with depression — and how it liberated her to see value in the graceful transitioning and not just the outcome.

» The First Breath After a Coma

If you've had a long day and are looking for a moment of reflection, watch Carolina LaBranche's lovely two-minute homage to her mother.


We had to cut these three interviews down quite a bit to fold them into one program. Hear each conversation in full and uncut, and let us know what you think of our edits.
» Unedited Interview with Palmer (mp3, 56:54)
» Unedited Interview with Solomon (mp3, 45:57)
» Unedited Interview with Barrows (mp3, 59:49)


Poetry for Reflection, Help, and Healing


» Rainer Maria Rilke
Translations of the two poems recited by Anita Barrows.

» Anita Barrows
Texts of "Questo muro" and "Heartwork."

» Jane Kenyon
Read "Back" cited by Solomon

» Psalms of the Old Testament
Helpful examples for meditation during and after depression.

» William Shakespeare
Passage from The Winter's Tale.


Solomon is author of The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, which won the National Book Award in 2001.


Palmer is an educator, activist, and author of Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation.


Barrows is a poet and psychologist, and translator of Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God.




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