I've started the program at the hospital this week. Already I'm learning/relearning things that may eventually help ... but there is always 3:00pm. One of our running jokes was always that we were at our worst emotionally and intellectually after 3pm, so that reminder is always a little knife. But I leave group and head home and the next thing I know the pain and the tears are overflowing. I can't begin to describe the hopelessness and despair I feel. There is nothing to replace what I've lost. Nothing but bills and furnace problems and shame and humiliation about my financial situation ... responsibilities and duties and months of this awful pain and nothing to look forward to or offer any meaning or hope. I see everything through the lens of this relationship and/or what I've lost...