Showing posts with label violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label violence. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Anger in the Age of Entitlement: Emotional Abuse (Overcoming Victim Identity)


By Steven Stosny in Anger in the Age of Entitlement

In terms of your health, happiness, and deepest values, one of the worst things that can happen is to live with a resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive partner. The worst thing you can develop, in terms of your health, happiness, and deepest values, is an identity as a victim.

Victim identity destroys personal power and undermines the sense of self. It makes you falsely identify with "damage" done to you or with bad things that have happened to you. The cry I hear over and over again from those who live with resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive partners is, "I don't like the person I've become."

Once emotional abuse occurs in a relationship, it becomes necessary not only to stop the abuse but to overcome victim identity through a strong identification with your inherent strengths, talents, skills, power, and appreciation of the self as a unique, ever-growing, competent, and compassionate person. This is accomplished through an emphasis on healing, growth, and empowerment, not by reviewing checklists of behaviors that qualify you as a victim or by reading lengthy descriptions of the resentful, angry, or abusive behavior and attitudes of your partner.

Detailed descriptions of your possible symptoms or of your partner's angry, abusive behavior are not only unnecessary for your recovery, they can cause harm by encouraging victim identity. If you live with an abusive person, you know better than any self-help author or advocate that your relationship has put thorns in your heart. You don't need a description of the thorns to know how much they hurt. You need to learn how to take them out and heal the wounds in ways that prevent scarring.

Perhaps the most insidious thorn in the heart that comes from living with a resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive partner is the feeling that you cannot be well until your partner changes. This understandable but tragic assumption is the first thorn you must remove from your heart. You deserve to heal and grow, whether or not your partner does.

Although a sense of fairness and justice tells you that your abusive partner ought to be the one to make changes, your pain tells you that you need to become the fully alive person you are meant to be. (Pain is not a punishment; it motivates behavior that heals, improves, and protects.) This means that you have to remove the focus from your partner and put it squarely on you. Renewed compassion for yourself will lead directly to a deeper compassion for your resentful, angry, or abusive partner. With that compassion you will demand meaningful, lasting change, for you will appreciate the enormous harm he does to himself when he hurts you. One of two things is likely to result from your reclamation of self and your compassionate demands on your abusive partner. You may be able to stop walking on eggshells and step into a deeper relationship with a more compassionate, loving partner. But if he chooses not to do the hard work of breaking abusive habits, for his sake, for the sake of your children, and for your own sake, you will no longer tolerate his resentful, angry, or abusive behavior. From your core value, you will stop walking on eggshells, one way or the other.

As you experience the enormous depth of your core value, the last thing you will want to do is identify with being a victim, or a survivor, for that matter. You want to outgrow walking on eggshells, not simply survive it, and you do that only by realizing your fullest value as a person.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Wall Street Journal: Wrong Prescription: How America's Failure to Treat The Seriously Mentally Ill Endangers Its Citizens'

WSJ: How the emptying of state-run mental hospitals produced a social disaster
By PAUL MCHUGH


The Insanity Offense By E. Fuller Torrey Norton, 265 pages, $24.95

There are times and situations that call for prophets. Not fortunetellers or soothsayers, but biblical prophets like Amos or Jeremiah who furiously proclaim the old truths, puncture our pretensions and predict from current tribulations worse to come if what lies deeper than sin -- idolatrous worship of false gods -- continues. E. Fuller Torrey, a psychiatrist who cares for patients with schizophrenia and manic-depression, is to my mind the doctor nearest in character to an ancient Hebrew prophet.

In "The Insanity Offense," he describes the grim consequences -- in death, violence and suffering -- of laws that, beginning in the late 1960s, released the seriously mentally ill from the oversight of state mental-health services and permitted them to wander away from the treatment and protection they desperately needed. Dr. Torrey identifies an unholy alliance of rash conservatives seeking to save public money by abandoning a traditional state obligation and self-righteous liberals defining the neglect of these patients as "defending their civil rights." We need prophets to confront such alliances -- anything less will fail -- and in this splendid book we hear one.

"The Insanity Offense" is "about one of the great social disasters of recent American history," Dr. Torrey writes. "It began within the lifetime of many of us, is continuing, and today affects approximately 400,000 individuals and their families. In the annals of twentieth-century American history, it should be included among the greatest calamities."

Some of the background should be familiar. From the mid-19th century right up until the 1960s, state governments accepted responsibility for the care and treatment of the seriously mentally ill. This arrangement came about because in the 1840s such civic crusaders as Dorothea Dix (in what may be the first piece of social research ever conducted in America) revealed the special ordeal of delusional and distressed mental patients: They tended to lose their way in life and, because of their unpredictable and occasionally violent propensities, filled the country's jails, workhouses and shelters, where they often suffered ugly mistreatment. Dix reported to the Massachusetts legislature in 1843 on "the present state of Insane Persons confined within this Commonwealth, in cages, cellars, stalls, pens! Chained, naked, beaten with rods, and lashed into obedience!"

The state mental-hospital system was founded to care for these patients. Though psychiatrists before the mid-20th century could offer them little more than shelter and protection, even that modest level of care was far from inconsequential: It kept the patients and the community from harm. State mental hospitals stood as beacons of a public obligation.

By the 1950s, though, these hospitals had become overcrowded and were themselves prompting calls for reform. It was a missed opportunity: Much could have been accomplished if psychiatric leaders at the time had moved quickly to repair a failing system and to educate the public about serious mental illness. The discovery of "anti-psychotic" phenothiazines and "anti-depressants" meant that the symptoms of these patients could be greatly relieved and their dangerous behavior much reduced if such medications were used properly. Steps could have been taken to address the concerns of the growing civil-rights movement and ensure that long-confined patients were not victims of neglect. And the increasing zeal for fiscal restraint and tax reform in state government should have been met head-on with a frank discussion about the costs and benefits of shouldering responsibility for some of our most vulnerable citizens.

Instead, psychiatric leaders at the time offered little or no defense. Worst of all, they failed to explain why state responsibility should continue, no matter what changed in the settings for patient services, so that the mentally ill would be monitored and not slip from sight. Patients with schizophrenia and manic-depression, it should have been explained, often lack any sense of their own mental disorders and so need regular supervision to sustain their treatment.

Why the psychiatric establishment failed to meet these challenges is not obvious. Many doctors wilted before criticism of state-hospital services and mustered weak arguments to defend them. Many others at the time were absorbed in the psychotherapy of patients with milder mental disorders and had little interest in the seriously mentally ill, whose care they were happy to leave to the state and others. As a result, laws were passed in the late 1960s with the direct intent of emptying state hospitals, releasing the patients and saving money -- consequences be damned.

The new laws deprived psychiatrists of the authority to hold patients under surveillance. In the past, psychiatrists could keep patients in a hospital if they were "of such mental condition . . . [as being] in need of supervision, treatment, care, or restraint." Now patients could not be held unless "immediately" or "imminently" dangerous to themselves or others.

The harrowing effects were evident almost immediately, and Dr. Torrey recounts them in vivid detail in "The Insanity Offense." First he offers plenty of statistics to indicate the state of the problem as it exists today -- citing, for instance, the number of seriously mentally ill who are in prison (218,000) or homeless (175,000) at any given time. But just as "numbers are too abstract" to convey the magnitude of a large-scale tragedy such as an earthquake or flood, he says, the true horror that resulted from the "deinstitutionalization" of the seriously mentally ill is best conveyed by individual stories.

Dr. Torrey recounts murder after murder by mentally ill patients, each of whom was actively avoiding treatment. We learn about William Bruce, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia and hospitalized but refused to take his medication. His mother "tried to get help everywhere," a friend related, but "at each phase she was turned away because he never hurt anyone." Bruce bludgeoned his mother to death in 2006 and slit her throat.

The most awful example was the murder last year of 32 students and faculty at Virginia Tech by Cho Seung-Hui, a 23-year-old student who had been court-identified as in need of treatment but allowed by the college to attend classes because the school would not treat mentally ill students -- even those suffering from schizophrenia -- unless the students requested it. Mr. Cho could not be involuntarily committed because he was not an "imminent danger" to himself or others and was not "substantially unable to care for himself." As Dr. Torrey writes: "This is one of the most stringent state commitment statutes in the United States and another example of how changes in mental illness laws in the 1970s and 1980s continue to have real consequences."

Given the difficulty of committing the seriously mentally ill for involuntary treatment, our jails and prisons have become de facto mental institutions. Dr. Torrey's data indicate that more than 30% of inmates are mentally ill. He also describes the abuse they suffer in these brutal environments and the increase in suicides by mentally ill prisoners. The hellish scenes described by Dorothea Dix in 1843 have returned -- with a vengeance, given the huge increase in the American population since the mid-19th century.

What is to be done? "The Insanity Offense" calls for a restoring of some central state responsibility for these patients in ways that would permit monitoring them regularly, keeping them on their medications and insisting on a protected-care setting if they relapse. It is not necessary to reopen all the old state hospitals: The programs that are needed could be carried out in clinic offices with backup, shorter-stay hospital beds.

Dr. Torrey points to successes in a few states. He particularly endorses a program in Wisconsin that provides outpatient tracking and regular medication treatment along with resources for ready involuntary commitments when either treatment fails or the patient becomes unable to control behavioral outbursts.

The issue is whether the public can be rallied to support these reforms. One obstacle: Legions of lawyers are opposed to such changes, claiming that they are infringements on "civil liberty." More than a few such lawyers are heard to proclaim that the violence and murder committed by mentally ill people are "the price we must pay for democracy." Here is idolatry of the most blatant kind -- with human sacrifice, no less -- and hence our need for the fury of a prophet.

Read an excerpt from "The Insanity Offense" here ...

Dr. McHugh is a University Distinguished Service Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University. His book "Try to Remember: Psychiatry's Clash Over Memory, Meaning, and Mind" will be published in October.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

National Post: Mental illness alone can’t explain murder-suicides

From the National Post:

Linda Nguyen, Canwest News Service Published: Friday, May 30, 2008

OTTAWA -- Mental illness alone seldom explains why some people kill their spouses and children, according to Canadian experts in psychology and family homicide.

Sources told the Calgary Herald that Joshua Lall -- who killed five people, including himself, inside an upscale Calgary home earlier this week -- recently reported hearing voices and thought he was possessed by the devil.

Calgary police confirmed late Friday that Lall stabbed his family to death, along with a tenant in his home, on Wednesday morning.

But Martin Daly, a professor in neuroscience and behaviour at McMaster University in Hamilton, said mental illness is seldom enough to drive someone to kill his whole family.

"People with major psychiatric disorders are scarcely more violent than the rest of the population," Mr. Daly said Friday. "They are commanded by the voices to do things like jump in front of a train [or] leap out of a window because they think they can fly - or go to the top of a mountain because they believe they will be taken away by a flying saucer.

"Guys who off their whole family are typically not mentally ill. They've decided to do this over some period of brooding and made a plan."

Read more ....

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