Friday, September 5, 2008

Martha Beck: The Lonely Season


By Martha Beck


Loneliness is epidemic, culturally frowned on, and completely curable. Whether the ache is chronic or a seasonal twinge, Martha Beck is here to diagnose it, treat it…heal it.

At times in my life, I have been utterly lonely. At other times, I've had disgusting infectious diseases. Try admitting these things in our culture, and you'll find they evoke identical responses: Listeners cringe with a mixture of pity, revulsion, and alarm. In a culture where everyone wants a happy family and a sizzling relationship, the phrase "I'm lonely" rings like the medieval leper's shout of "Unclean! Unclean!"

Fortunately, we now treat disease not by isolating its victims but by diagnosing and healing them. Finding those who can comprehend the emptiness of your heart, diagnosing and ameliorating its ailments, can keep you productively engaged when your loneliness is at its worst.

The time-tested BLD System

Allow me to introduce the Beck Loneliness Diagnostic System, which is based on years of research I've conducted by brooding about my own problems during bouts of emotional eating. My system divides loneliness into three categories—absolute, separation, and existential—each of which has different remedies. I prescribe two courses of action for each type: quick fixes (to feel better immediately) and long-term solutions (to banish it for good).

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